What am I passionate about? My family. My Faith. My job….. My job, not my work(place). I tried so hard to convince myself I was happy and knew all along that it was a move I felt was more of a sacrifice than a choice…
Two more events and it’s time for me to move on… I gave it my all but I need to be true to myself, and do what’s best. I’ve learned a lot about myself through my experience at The Bay, but one of the things is that -it isn’t for me. I shall continue what I am doing best with NARS as a freelance makeup artist and do my thing. (Sadly) They are right: I am over qualified for this position. I felt that I could just show up and use what I have to be a part of the team that really pushed NARS nearer its potential in this market. But in my opinion, The Bay isn’t where this is going to happen (any time soon) if things are to remain as they are and I am in no position to do anything about it. It’s hard being in a position of those I used to provide support and help to as a manager, and not to receive such help and guidance from those who I feel are in the position to help or make a difference. It has been incredibly de-motivating and frustrating. I had such high expectations of Hbc as a new employee.
I can’t say much more without fear of sounding too negative, bitter or unprofessional. But when my reasons for wanting to not leave, was more my pride in never having “quit” before, than wanting to stay…. *sigh* it wasn’t enough.
(Here’s how I’ll put it instead: Imagine being a dancer and being told you are exactly what the show needs because of your skills and experiences but the pay wasn’t going to be great. It wasn’t the lead role, but a significant one. Then finding out that you can dance, but you can’t have music, you can’t use your own style nor have anything much else to attract an audience? The joy of dancing is still there, within sure! But it can only be shared with those who care to come by or those you can drag in, even if there’s no sounds to dance to, and you have to dance again and again to the beat of someone else’s drums while others who aren’t even dancers or haven’t had as much experience as you, constantly tell you how you need to point or flex. Which is fine, really….Only each time you dance, you need to bring in a bigger audience and the target numbers isn’t based on anything you see measurable!) You get it. Right?
For now. I need to focus on what’s best for my family even if leaving my full-time job doesn’t seem like the best decision financially. I will move on, be happy and do my best. The rest…faith has taught me that God will provide as long as I work hard on my end too.
Maybe the answer is with freelancing and looking into work outside my Industry, so I won’t be dubbed as “over qualified” and meet such walls of frustration? We’ll see. This isn’t easy… Not one bit. But….. C’est la vie!